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Thursday, June 6, 2013

“Classic Quickbreads and Muffins, Part XCVIII: The Start of the Weekend sees the Hooter making an Exceptional Quickbread Recipe—Quick Poppyseed Loaf—be careful with Drug Tests as it gives a False Positive!” by Chef Hootenstein.


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We begin offering albums by the short-lived San Francisco Acid Band, HP Lovecraft, their first album is entitled, “HP Lovecraft I,” which came out sometime in 1967 and is and is their best work.  The band not only performed live under the influence of psychedelic drugs but also practiced and recorded under the effects of these mind-bending drugs.  Hence, they were around far less than even the previous group, the 13th Floor Elevators.  However, their music is amazing and you should own it by using the handy link posted above!                      


FRIDAY, JUNE 07, 2013

THE NEW AGE—TWO YEARS UNTIL THE NEXT ELECTION ARRIVES!





STINKBUG 2013









Chef Elmer K. “the Hooter” Hootenstein
END Commentary 06-07-2013
Copyright © 2013 by MHB Productions
Word Count: 3,555.

AMERICAN INSTITUTE OF CULINARY POLITICS



ELEMENTALNEWSOFTHEDAY.BLOGSPOT. COM-STINKBUG—THE HEADLINES

Elemental News of the Day Commentary-Opinion-Sports-Foodservice for Friday, June 07, 2013 by Chef Elmer K. “the Hooter” Hootenstein


CLASSIC QUICKBREADS AND MUFFINS, PART XCVIII



“Classic Quickbreads and Muffins, Part  XCVIII: The Start of the Weekend sees the Hooter making an Exceptional Quickbread Recipe—Quick Poppyseed Loaf—be careful with Drug Tests as it gives a False Positive!” by Chef Hootenstein.

929th BLOGPOST AT THE AICP-END!

Kern County
Bakersfield, CA, 06-07-2013 F: I am glad it is Friday as that means after today, we have two more days to go and then I am out the door headed south to Los Angeles, California.  Recently, my wife and I went to the movies and saw the film, “End of Watch,” and all I can say is “Welcome to the Hood, friends.”  The sad thing about living in the second largest city of the nation is that parts of it are amazing while others no one enters who values his or her life.  Yet, the amazing this is this: people from both sides spill over into the other and all sorts of personal and property crimes occur, none of which, the police can handle without putting themselves at great risk.   That movie was pretty darned close to the truth and I have a lot of respect for law enforcement in Los Angeles unlike here.  When I come north to Bakersfield, California, to do my stint out in Oildale at our corporate offices, I feel like I am entering the Wild, Wild West.  No one or no place is truly safe here in Kern County and can expect to suffer more violence from the police force than from the criminals.  Crime here is either property-based or crook-on-crook crime, probably something all of them deserve. 
The Democrat Donkey
I must say, however, that “End of Watch,” is a great movie, it takes one into the world of the cop living and working in the BIG city.  I think in some ways that Los Angeles is very different from New York City as the southern border is not that far away and the hoods pass through here on a daily basis as they traffic drugs north and their profits south.  There are entire areas in which, the cartels have set up shop in L.A., places where even the police themselves fear to go, which tells me that bit-by-bit, we continue losing more and more control of our nation and especially our state.   I think most everyone has a set image in their mind as to what “California” seemed to be and sadly, all I can say is that thanks to nonstop Democrat politics, that image does not exist anymore.  We have become the capital of the Food Stamp user, the methamphetamine user, the sex slave promoter, the home of the worldwide pornographic industry.  Our state is slowly slipping away and no one seems to give a hoot, heck, in Sacramento, our representatives are busily passing a bill that would give a driver’s license to virtually anyone sans proof of whom they are or where they live.  Even I know that that is not such a good thing and yet, there is nothing that any of us can do to put a kibosh on it; all we can do is suffer it (or move somewhere else).
U.S. Virgin Islands Flag
Lately, my wife and I have considered moving to the U.S. Virgin Islands, we are planning a trip there later in the summer to see what the cost of living is and what the chef positions pay.  We have considered selling our business because Obamacare is going to drive us out of business if we are forced to cover the part-timers and the floor staff, there would be no way we would be able to keep our doors open.  Worse, if we had to pay the $2,000 fine per employee per year we do NOT cover with insurance, that amount alone would force us to shut our doors.  The only way we could manage to keep the business up-and-running would be if we were able to do all of the things we mentioned yesterday.  However, fear of the Internal Revenue Service and their lack of answers or help leaves that a wild card and wild cards do not always pay off; therefore, you can understand why we are weighing our options about where we can go.   Our understanding is this: the POSSESSIONS, i.e., Guam, U.S. Virgin Islands, Puerto Rico, and American Samoa do NOT have Obamacare and if that truly is so, then we are out of here.
Guamanian Flag
Something else we have considered is that if we sell our fine-dining restaurant to some illegal alien, we could use the profits to relocate to any of the possessions in which, we could either buy an existing restaurant or build one of our own.  The other option would be moving to Bermuda, the Bahamas, or even the U.K. Virgin Islands, any of which, would be totally fine.  The key to moving to outside the United States is the one of whether or not one needs to give up their citizenship. If you want to know the God’s honest gospel, my wife and I have absolutely NO problem whatsoever in giving up our American citizenship, we are tired of what currently is going on around the country and in our home state.  At some point, the IRS will pursue us because once a government goes down the totalitarian route, one of the things they do not permit its citizens to do is to take their money along with them if they decide to get the hell out like us.  The trick is that we have already been to the Caymans and have opened the necessary bank accounts, something I suggest everyone with any sort of wealth the Obamaists might want to grab do.   I know that Stinkbug has been in discussion with both his attorneys and his CPA’s as to which country would be the best for him and if I recall what he said a month or so ago, Belize was looking pretty good to him and his family.  None of us ever thought that this day would ever come but I can bet you this: all of you at some point will face the same decisions as once Obamacare kicks in next year, it’s over and done for all of us.    
The British Virgin Islands
  Okay, let us put our tax avoidance schemes to the side and get into what we came here to do today, namely make some delicious quickbreads.  Poppyseed is one of the good ones, people typically forget about making it until they see the gallon tub sitting atop the spice shelves in the bakery and realize, “Hey, I haven’t made poppyseed muffins or loaves in the past year!”  I love poppyseeds, virtually everyone I know loves them but nowadays, living in this wonderful drug-riddled world in which, we make our homes, I have to say this and will say it again several times more.  If you have to do drug tests as a part of your employment, tell the person drawing your blood that you have recently eaten poppyseeds!   You see, poppies are poppies and they give the false positive on a drug screen showing OPIATE usage, something that not only will get you fired but most likely put in jail.  ALWAYS tell the lab in which, you must go that you have eaten several slices of fresh poppy bread and they will make note of it.   However, if you eat poppy breads every time you go to the clinic, they will begin to suspect that you are full of crap!  I have forewarned you, so here we go:
(#0089) QUICK POPPYSEED BREAD

I recall living in an area that had some enjoyable ethnic bakeries that featured a plethora of poppyseed breads and desserts.  This one is dedicated to those Czech or Slovak bakeries that dotted the area in which, I grew up.  I love poppyseeds but as you will see when you read the bottom comment, they do have ONE major drawback and that is the fact that eating them causes a “false positive” for opiate usage, something that immediately flags someone when their employers force them to undergo a drug screen.  To me, that is somewhat contradictory as the more the government lightens up on drug usage, i.e., medicinal marijuana, it seems almost hypocritical to lose one’s job because their favorite bread gives them a hit on their drug screen.  Still, there is no reason why not everyone should be able to eat bread such as this one because so what if it makes you look like you use heroin, enjoy the bread and tell him or her to go bugger themselves!

Yield:  1 9” x 5” loaf / Mis-en-place: 2 hours:





Qty.
Measure
Item
Other
2.5
Cups
All-purpose flour

.5
Cup
Cake flour

1
Tablespoon
Baking powder

1
Tablespoon
Bob’s Red Mill soy flour

1
Tablespoon
Nonfat dry milk

1
Teaspoon
Baking soda

.5
Teaspoon
Salt

1
Tablespoon
Orange zest

1
Tablespoon
Lemon zest

.75
Cup
Poppyseeds

2
Large
AA eggs

1.125
Cups
Granulated sugar

.25
Cup
Vegetable oil

1
Cup
Sour cream

.75
Cup
Buttermilk

1
Tablespoon
Vanilla extract

The Finish (Optional):
2-3
Tablespoons
Pineapple juice

2
Cups
Powdered sugar

2
Teaspoons
Vanilla extract

The Second Finish (Optional):
Powdered sugar



Method:

1.     Mis-en-place: have everything ready with which to work! Prepare your loaf pan first: use only reflective stainless steel or aluminum bakeware, never dark bakeware, as the former repels the heat rather than drawing it in as the latter does.  Spray it with PAM (or with some such other food release spray), line it with wax paper or a paper liner, and spray the paper so that the baked loaf will peel away from the paper without tearing apart.  Set the pan aside.

2.    Next, place a pot of hot water on your stovetop and keep it simmering until needed.  Also, preheat your standard oven to 350°F or your convection oven to 300°F—fan “on”—and proceed to next step:

3.     Double-sift the first SEVEN ingredients together; then, stir in the two citrus zests and poppyseeds and then set aside. Now, with the aid of an electric mixer equipped with a paddle accessory, beat the eggs, sugar, and vegetable oil until the mixture is “creamed.” It will be light, homogenous, and syrupy and at that point, stop mixing and add the sour cream, buttermilk, and the vanilla.  Scrape the bowl and the paddle down and then rotate the paddle around the bowl one last time on low speed.

4.     Now, combine the DRY ingredients with the WET using the least amount of medium-low speed rotations necessary to accomplish this step.  It is important NOT to overmix a quickbread batter as it overdevelops the gluten contained in the all-purpose flour.  Never worry about lumps as they cook out during the baking process, mix just until you form the batter then stop.

5.     Place a pan on the oven floor containing about one inch of hot water, steaming the oven for about 10-15 minutes before inserting it.  This mimics the ability of professional bakers who use steam-injected ovens thereby giving their breads a lighter feel to them. Once you insert the loaf, pull the remnants of the water out after 10 minutes leaving the loaf to finish using dry heat.

6.     Scoop the batter with the use of a rubber spatula into the prepared loaf pan; shake to settle the contents, place on middle rack of preheated oven, and bake for 50-55 minutes.  Check the loaf for doneness by inserting a paring knife or cake tester into the center mass of the loaf: if it withdraws “clean,” the loaf is ready and if not, bake another 10-15 minutes.  Should the top begin to brown too much, tent it with a piece of aluminum foil to protect it.

7.     As soon as the loaf proves itself “baked,” remove it, place it atop a cooling rack and then, after 2-3 minutes, gently rap the edge of the pan to loosen the loaf, remove it, and finish cooling it.

8.     As it cools, combine the ingredients listed under the “Finish” together with the aid of your electric mixer equipped with a WHIP attachment.  Place the sugar and vanilla into the bowl first and then gradually begin adding the pineapple juice while mixing the glaze on low speed.  Generally, to make a thick glaze, it takes about 1-2 tablespoons of liquid to about one cup of powdered sugar so take your time, do it right and when done, stop, scrape down the bowl, shake the whip, and stir it with a spoon.  If it is thick, its perfect so set it somewhere warm like atop the stove or in the cooling oven.

9.     Scoop the glaze out atop the cooling loaf until it coats the top and dribbles down the sides.  Continue the cooling process until the glaze solidifies. Rest the loaf uncovered atop your kitchen counter for at least an hour as this allows the loaf to finish baking and to homogenize.  After an hour (or longer if you have the time) slice the bread into serving slices using a sharpened serrated-edged knife.  Place the slices atop a doily-lined serving tray and serve.  Accompany with whipped butter and fruit preserves of choice.

10. Always wrap leftover slices or breads in plastic wrap, then in aluminum foil, and then zip up tight in a Zip-Loc Freezer Bag.  Unless to be consumed within a day, never refrigerate breads of any type as it dries them out whereas the freezer will keep them fresh for 5-7 days; after that, discard them if you cannot use them in bread puddings.

Depending on where one lives in the country, poppyseeds are either commonplace or seldom seen.  This is a very delicious loaf, one everyone enjoys, of that there is no doubt; however, the one lone drawback is that it can cause a “false positive” on a drug test due to the poppyseeds ability to mimic the use of opiate drugs as that is, after all, the source of said drugs.   Therefore, if you have a job that conducts random drug tests, you should never eat poppyseed breads, muffins, or rolls during the workweek, save them for the absolute end of the week and then eat them no more a day before returning to work.  Otherwise, this bread is remarkably appetizing, one everybody tends to love once the guests savor the first bite!

Poppyseeds, like sesame seeds, are unique food additions in that seeds are very nutritious, they are good for you and each of the major seeds used by bakers provides lots of energy and other necessary ingredients good for one’s health.  I love using not only poppy and sesame seeds but also caraway seeds—once in awhile—as well as millet seeds and oat groats.  All of these things have drastically different flavors, looks, and even aromas, which makes them necessities in the bakery department.  Do NOT overlook them!  
Northern Marianas Flag
One place I left out of relocation areas is the Northern Marianas Islands in the Pacific Ocean.  While my wife and I have never been there, the Northern Marianas is territory the United States fought over during World War II and took away from the Imperial Japanese as spoils of war, and a place we would love to visit at some point during our lives.  I am considering virtually every place in which, Obamacare will not be the law of the land because I will be damned if I am going to give all of my medical information to the Internal Revenue Service.  We have all seen how they behave, they certainly are not a reputable organization, all I hope is that if the Republicans manage to take it back that they will force some sort of FAIR TAX through both houses of congress.  Enough is enough, my friends; otherwise, it’s time to go!  

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As always, we have a great time around here and that is why we want all of you to become a part of the organization by submitting articles to us for inspection and full-credit.  It is a great thing if you would do this, as it is a symbiotic relationship: we give you the space to share your recipes and in return, you send us more and more people who will become dedicated followers of the END.  Currently of multi-diversity across the Internet, it is important that we hear the voices of more and more people from all walks of the foodservice profession —join us. We urge our readership to write to us, leave comments, and if there are any of you, who would care to write an article for us, please get in touch via Magnolia Hilltop Brewers, P.O. Box 20669, Bakersfield, CA 93390-0669.  We obviously do not pay anything but give YOU full byline and that, my friends, is worth its weight in gold.  We want as many people who want to write to be able to do so and we believe that by presenting a forum for our fellow chefs, we are doing something for our beloved industry.  We love diversity and hope to add new and different authors to our pantheon of chefs, food and beverage directors, and culinary professionals.  Come on and join us, it will be fun! Expect that when all of us have run through our cycle, we will be introducing some brand-new talent or so Stinky says.
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          We have touted the AARC Technology Company here in Bakersfield, CA, and must add the Nerds on Call.com folks.  Without them keeping our blog up-and-running, there is no telling where we would be now.  We have a great many problematic issues here at the AICP-END because even with the best security systems in the world, malware and other terrible fecal materials manage to penetrate the blogsite.  Do yourself a favor, hire the best, and note, you can have online help via a remote button on your desktop for just $25 per month!  Get in contact with the Nerds now!  Here’s another note: do NOT do business with Galkos Construction, Inc., those people are nothing but crooks as if you lease your system, you will never pay it off, plus you have to pay them for excess energy produced by your system, the electric company does not buy all of it nor do they!  AVOID GCI AT ALL COSTS; DO NOT DO BUSINESS WITH THESE CROOKS!
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          We are selling recipes all the time and you can order things you would like copies of simply by mailing us your name, address, the recipe you would like and a check for $1.00.  You can buy an entire week’s worth of recipes when we do a series simply by sending us a check or money order (no cash please!) for $20 and we will have it out to you in the next day’s mail.  Please become a part of the AICP-END by sending us your names, addresses, and information and we will welcome all of you with open arms!
UNLOCK THE SECRETS
          To buy paintings, recipes, or full article series, please send us your information by mailing us at P.O. Box #20669, Bakersfield, CA, 93309-0669.  You can call about paintings at 661-834-5185; we will take all calls and provide to you as much information as is available.  It is time that we begin taking the next step and to immortalize Beverly Carrick for eternity and begin moving towards the establishment of a website of our own! God bless each single one of you amongst our fan base!
THE REUNION CONCERT
          I am excited that we have come to the end of the end of the 13th Floor Elevators and now are offering albums by HP Lovecraft, one of the psychedelic era’s greatest bands.  Music is one of the things that unites all of us together, makes us human, and gives us hope in bad times and pleasure in good ones.  My wife and I watch tapes of the show, The Voice, on our television when we have some time alone, which sadly, is somewhat absent nowadays.  However, we enjoy the show and we love the music, they have some talented vocalists.  My wish is that they would do some of the older songs from the past instead of all this Justin Beiber crap, that kid makes me sick, he’s nothing but a little pansy and everyone treats him like some sort of superstar.  Please, do some Rolling Stones, Faces, even the Who, anything but the Beeb!  See you all tomorrow!                                                                    
HP LOVECRAFT I
Anyhow, let us close with this impassioned plea—please leave some comments and/or become a follower. What's more, why not spend some money and purchase an album by the Thirteenth Floor Elevators, HP Lovecraft, and/or buy a cookbook from Amazon.com—we want to make some money here so help us out by buying something!  Allied with them, we are pleased to market their merchandise!  Amazon.com is one of the greatest—if not the ultimate greatest!—online department stores in which, one can find almost everything on the planet.  We love them and they love us and we want all of you to visit them daily, take advantage of their deals on everything from kitchen equipment to cookbooks, CDs, DVDs, and everything else a person could want.  Everything you buy from them puts money into our pockets, which allows us to keep this fine blog up-and-running 24/7/365!  God bless America and God bless Amazon.com!
Thank you!
Elmer K. Hootenstein
Elmer K. Hootenstein
CWC, ACF, the Golden State Chefs’ Association
________________________________________________________________________

This is a photo of me in a group shot that was a collage on a chef's magazine cover from the 1980's. They took this picture of me in the mid 1970's when I was working as a Food and Beverage Director at a hotel in Fresno, California. I later came to Washington State where I met Stinkbug in the WSCA. We have been friends ever since.
Chef Elmer K. “the Hooter” Hootenstein writes from Los Angeles, California.

Chef Elmer K. “the Hooter” Hootenstein is a Moderate Republican.

Rotation: (1) Tiresias (2) The Hooter (3) Fritz Schlependrecht.
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The AICP-END Commentary for Friday, June 07, 2013 by Chef Elmer K. “the Hooter” Hootenstein


Please note that everyone who writes for the Elemental News of the Day is their own person entitled to their own opinions, attitudes, and insanity so does not necessarily speak for all of us.  Thanks, Stinkbug.
REFERENCES:
The one-and-only Chef Elmer K. “the Hooter” Hootenstein wrote this original essay.

Recipe created by Chef Elmer K. “the Hooter” Hootenstein on April 19, 1984 in Los Angeles, California.

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This is #0231, a 30” x 40" original oil painting by Beverly Carrick entitled, “A Mountain at Sunset”. It is among her more beautiful works and is available for sale. You can see much more of her work at her Website, located at or at Brian Carrick's Facebook page. At her Website, you will see not only more original oil paintings but also lithographs, giclees, prints, miniatures, photographs, and even her award-winning instructional video entitled, "Painting the Southwest with Beverly Carrick." Beverly has been painting for more than 60 years and known around the world for both the beauty and timelessness of her artworks. Hanging in private and public galleries and followed by many fans encircling the globe—her works instill awe because of her artistic brilliance and personal beauty. We urge you to go to her Website NOW and view her work. It is possible that you will find something you like and will want to buy it for yourself, a friend, a loved one, or a neighbor! You will not be disappointed so please: do yourself a favor and go there IMMEDIATELY! Thank you, the American Institute of Culinary Politics-Elemental News of the Day!

Beverly Carrick: the World’s Greatest Artist (1927-2012)!
Pictures #0000-0395










CAVEAT:
NOTE: EVERYONE WHO WRITES FOR THE ELEMENTAL NEWS OF THE DAY DOES SO UNDER AN ALIAS DUE TO FREQUENT OPINIONS THAT MIGHT NOT ALWAYS BE ACCEPTABLE AT THEIR PLACES OF EMPLOYMENT. PLEASE NOTE, TOO, THAT RECIPES ARE BROKEN DOWN FROM INSTITUTIONAL SIZES, WHICH MEANS THEY DO NOT ALWAYS TRANSLATE PROPERLY AND SEEN AS SUCH.  THANK YOU, Moses Scharbug III.




The above icon is the “Trademark of Quality and Symbol of Integrity/Logo” of the Magnolia Hilltop Brewers and of What's Cookin' Productions. This article is copyrighted © 05-29-2013, all rights reserved. Unauthorized reproductions of anything on this blog site, including written material and photographs, are permissible unless granted in writing by Moses Scharbug or Stinkbug. Thank you, the Elemental News of the Day.
President: Garfield H. Johnson
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Board of Directors: Garfield H. Johnson, Alvin T. Woliztnikistein, B. Carrick, B. H. “BC” Cznystekinki, Elmer K. “the Hooter” Hootenstein, Gervais Krinkelmeier, Goldie “Goldfish” McNamara, James “Jimmy” Hall, James, “JT” Tobiason, Kilgore Randalini, Lilah Paulikovich, Murph MacDougal, and Olaf Bologolo,




NOTE FROM MOSES SCHARBUG III, ASSISTANT EDITOR:
Okay, that is going to do it for today, friends, so now, let us move on to the closing words we normally share with you every day: please, I suggest you save these recipes by bookmarking them online or by writing to us and telling, us which recipes you would like mailed to you.  Each one costs $1.50, a dollar for the recipe and $0.50 for the shipping.  If you buy all three, simply enclose a check or money order for $3.00 otherwise, it is more expensive for just a single recipe.  Be sure to tell us the number of the recipe in which, you are interested so we can ship it to you posthaste!  Thank you for your interest and if you wish, $10.00 will get you ONE week’s worth of recipes, starting on Monday and going through Sunday.  Should you wish the entire Special Menus Index 2011 Easter Brunch Menu’s recipes, simply send us $25.00 and you will get every recipe sent to you via USPS First Class Mail.  International orders take U.S. Money Orders! Moses Scharbug III, Assistant Editor.



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Tags:
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 PLEASE LISTEN TO KAOI 1110 AM and 96.7 FM ON MAUI, HAWAII—YOU CAN CATCH IT ONLINE OR LIVE ON THE RADIO! THEY COVER CONSERVATIVE TOPICS WITH THE EXCEPTION OF ED SCHULTZ AND THE NFL!


Listen to KFI AM Radio 640 out Of Los Angeles, California 9:00 A.M. to 12 Noon—the Station Chef BC tunes into every day!


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CHEF E. K. “THE HOOTER” HOOTENSTEIN
MADE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA! WE SUPPORT THE MILITARY OF THE UNITED STATES AND THAT OF ITS ALLIES AROUND THE GLOBE!

Thank you for joining me today at the New Elemental News of the Day, I appreciate your company and hope that you bring your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, and relatives the next time you visit!




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The Chef’s Culinary Nightmare: Our Muse…
Please, let me recommend to you a very important book, one we are pushing everywhere: Obama Care Survival Guide by Nick J. Tate, a very important book published by Humanix Books, West Palm Beach, Florida, 2012.



  

Beverly Carrick Original Paintings Price List:


Size 36” x 72”............................................................................................... $18,000.00.
Size 40” x 60”............................................................................................... $15,450.00.
Size 36” x 48”............................................................................................... $11,500.00.
Size 30” x 40”............................................................................................... $ 9,000.00.
Size 24” x 48”............................................................................................... $ 9,000.00.
Size 24” x 36”............................................................................................... $ 8,240.00.
Size 24” x 30”............................................................................................... $ 7,600.00.
Size 20” x 24”............................................................................................... $ 5,950.00.
Size 18” x 24”............................................................................................... $ 5,950.00.
Size 16” x 20”............................................................................................... $ 5,400.00.
Size 12” x 24”............................................................................................... $ 5,400.00.
Size 12” x 16”............................................................................................... $ 4,500.00.
Size 11” x 14”............................................................................................... $ 4,500.00.
Size  9” x 12”................................................................................................ $ 1,200.00.
Size  8” x 10”................................................................................................ $ 1,000.00.
Size  6” x 8”.................................................................................................. $    950.00.
Size  5” x 7”.................................................................................................. $    850.00.



GUN SALESMAN OF THE YEAR: PRESIDENT BARACK H. OBAMA!


TODAY IN HISTORY—JUNE 07, 2013:

  1. .  




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#0231 30” x 40” “A Mountain at Sunset” by Beverly Carrick
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