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Wednesday, March 6, 2013

“Mis-en-Place Index, Part XXXVI: You won’t Believe where we’re going today: down Memory Lane and learning how to make Mayonnaise—yes, Mayonnaise!—from Scratch!” by Chef James “JT” Tobiason

 
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Today’s Mothers of Invention album is their seventeenth album, “You can’t do that on Stage anymore, Volume One,” which appeared on record store shelves in 1988 and was the first in a series of the more dubious onstage antics of the Mothers of Invention!  For those who love for what the Mothers once stood—X-rated, musical humor, this is a must-have series of albums and this is the first installment!  We recommend that you take the link posted above, go to Amazon.com, and buy this album NOW! Thank you!                 





THURSDAY, MARCH 07, 2013

 

THE NEW AGE—TWO YEARS UNTIL THE NEXT ELECTION ARRIVES!

 

 

 

 
 
 
STINKBUG 2013
 
 
 

 



Chef James “JT” Tobiason

END Commentary 03-07-2013

Copyright © 2012 by MHB Productions

Word Count: 3,034.

 

AMERICAN INSTITUTE OF CULINARY POLITICS

 

ELEMENTALNEWSOFTHEDAY.BLOGSPOT.COM-STINKBUG—THE HEADLINES

Elemental News of the Day Commentary-Opinion-Sports-Foodservice for           Thursday, March 07, 2013 by Chef James “JT” Tobiason



MIS-EN-PLACE INDEX, PART XXXVI

 



Mis-en-Place Index, Part XXXVI: You won’t Believe where we’re going today: down Memory Lane and learning how to make Mayonnaise—yes, Mayonnaise!—from Scratch!” by Chef James “JT” Tobiason



837th BLOGPOST AT THE AICP-END!

HUMP DAY!

 
 

Bakersfield, CA, 03-07-2013 Th: Besides today being Hump Day (there—got it out of the way just like that!), it is now a week since the horrifying sequester took place, you know—the thing that the government leaders prophesied would be as bad as December 21, 2012.  As you should recall, I am comparing the end of the Mayan Calendar—how the end of the Earth was fast approaching and how bad that was going to be.  Well, President Obama never once compared it to that but let me tell you this: they might as well have done that because that is precisely how they kept the drumbeat going, keeping the low information voters in a tizzy because they thought that without government services, the world was going to end!  So far, nothing has happened and the funny thing is, the day before the END was to come, the President commenced stepping back from the precipice by telling the news media, that you know, ‘maybe it would take a couple of weeks to one month before all hell breaks loose?”  Good Lord, it is reminiscent of the days when President Bush was preparing to leave office and his treasury secretary came to him and told him that ‘unless you act now, I mean: RIGHT THIS MINUTE AND PASS TARP, THE BANKING ESTABLISHMENT OF THE UNITED STATES IS GOING TO END AND MAYBE EVEN THAT OF THE WORLD!’
Now, I never thought much of George W. Bush, and have said on previous occasions numerous times as saying, ‘had he been a Democrat, they would have loved him because he spent like one.”  While I do not think he was ever the imbecile he’s been made out to be, I think he fell hook, line, and sinker for the idea that all of the mortgage foreclosures, the banks collapsing one after another, that if he did not act immediately and do something, then he would leave his successor in a world of hurt.  What the poor guy did—at John McCain's, Lindsay Graham's, and a whole mess of other RINO Republicans—was to hand the club with which, Mr. Obama has beaten him these past five years—to him!  In effect, he gave the man who has blamed him for everything from the economic crisis to the spread of syphilis around the world the tool with which to tar and feather the poor man.  Again, I never thought that Bush 43 was the evil genius the press and Mr. Obama has painted him to be but then, neither was he ever the brightest Presidential bulb in the pack of 43 presidents.   Oh, what, you say, there are FORTY-FOUR PRESIDENTS, IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE SAYING, IS IT?  Look, there have been ONLY forty-three men to ever hold that office; however, let me explain this for a moment to the low information voters lurking out there blogging in their pajamas in their basement:
There have been forty-three men ever to hold the office of the President of the United States and yes, there are forty-four presidencies.  One man held the office twice but lost his reelection bid just to come back and beat the man who beat him to hold the office a second time, in effect, giving us FORTY-FOUR PRESIDENTS.  Grover Cleveland, the nation’s 22nd and 24th Presidents held office the first time from 1885-1889 and lost to President #23, Benjamin Harrison, who put him out of office in the Election of 1889 but lost to Mr. Cleveland when he ran again four years later.  When President Cleveland took the oath of office and reentered the White House in 1893, he was in office until 1896 when he stepped down and eventually became a Supreme Court Justice, the ONLY American President to have ever done that (or, was that William Howard Taft? We will have to check that fact and let you know the results at a later time)!  His successor was the ill-fated Republican President William McKinley who later was assassinated by a war-weary radical several years later due to his entering the Spanish-American War in 1898. 
There, you have had your history lesson for today but let me add one thing: only one President, Franklin Delano Roosevelt held the office for a third and fourth term and the only reason he managed to do that was because he was shepherding us through World War II after taking us through the Great Depression.  I do, however, remember my grandfather, face all apoplectic with anger and rage swearing that while he voted for FDR for the first two terms, there was no way he could vote the man a third term, American president\s just did NOT do that!  Unfortunately, for granddad, most of the country disagreed and gave the man a third and a fourth term but he passed away shortly into his fourth.  Harry S. Truman took over and ran again but not long after that, Congress passed the Twenty-Second Amendment, ratified on February 27, 1951.  It stated, “No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of President more than once.”  It goes on to say a few more things but there, you have the gist of the matter right there but I have a sneaking suspicion that the present holder of the office may nullify the amendment through an Executive Order and attempt to run again!
We do a lot of things here at the American Institute of Culinary Politics-Elemental News of the Day, we discuss politics, sometimes sports, history, and it’s all about trying to instill in our employees the idea that this nation is very special and that they have a sworn duty as citizens to protect it and to uphold its laws.  Sadly, we have a bunch of ignoramuses out there as well as illegals who seem to feel that the current chief executive can do whatever the hell he pleases and let me tell you this: at some point, all men must stand up and say, “enough, the world has not nor will it come to an end.”  Everyone must uphold the law that is why the little Army smuck Private First Class Bradley Manning, the little bastard who leaked thousands of classified documents to Wikileaks need to be tried for treason and if convicted, executed.  If we do not uphold the laws of the nation nor enforce them, hell, we will be like the f---ing Islamists running around chopping off heads of those with whom we disagree.  That’s it, enough said, let’s make some mayonnaise!

(#0390) BASIC MAYONNAISE

 

At one point or another in the career of every chef, one attempts or needs to make his or her own mayonnaise.  As with the art of de-boning a chicken, making mayonnaise is something that was a common job for every chef, pantry cook, or whoever within the professional kitchen and this is the way in which, I learned how to make this very fundamental ingredient.  I do not believe that any one of us can call ourselves a “chef” until we know how to make the most basic of pantry ingredients, common mayonnaise; however, do not mistake this for “salad dressing,” something completely different in the realm of the Prepmaster as it is cooked and not made from emulsified egg yolks.  It is the difference between something like Best Foods Mayonnaise and Kraft Miracle Whip; there’s a big difference!
Yield:  about 1.25 quarts / Mis-en-place: 1 hour:
 

 

Qty.
Measure
Item
Other
8
Large
AA egg yolks
 
2
Teaspoons
Kosher salt
 
2
Teaspoons
Heinz apple cider vinegar
 
2
Teaspoons
Powdered sugar
 
1
Teaspoon
Colman’s dry mustard
 
.25
Teaspoon
Cayenne pepper
 
2
Cups
Olive oil
 
.25
Cup
Heinz apple cider vinegar
 
.25
Cup
Freshly-squeezed lemon juice
 
1
Cup
Vegetable oil
 

 

Method:

1.     Mis-en-place: have everything ready with which to work! Have your Kitchen Aid mixer and equip it with a WHIP attachment, taking care to wash and sanitize everything. 

a.     In the first measure of apple cider vinegar, soak the dry ingredients. 
2.     Now, beating the whip at medium-high speed, beat the yolks in the bottom of the mixing bowl until they are a light yellowish color; then, blend in the next FIVE ingredients, slowing rotating the whip and holding the bowl up—if necessary—so the whip reaches the bottom.
3.     With the whip rotating at medium-high speed, begin dribbling in the first measure of olive oil along the sides of the bowl—slowly.  This is an emulsification meaning a mixture in which  you suspend air within the liquid and a very important step so do NOT rush it.  If it seems like the mixture is going to break or is too oily, stop adding and if necessary, remove some of the oil from the top and begin adding it again under the same conditions.  Continue adding the oil until the mixture incorporates ALL of it, and then stop.
4.     In one bowl, combine the second measure of olive oil with the lemon juice and set it aside while having the measure of vegetable oil available in another bowl. 
5.     Now this may seem somewhat silly perhaps, but begin adding part of the second and third mixtures to the mixture in the mixing bowl—slowly—a bit at a time while continuing to beat the whip at medium speed.  Continue the process until the contents of each bowl have been added to the main mixture—the mayonnaise—and it begins fluffing up nicely.  This takes some time so it is important that you do NOT rush it as if you do, you will ruin it necessitating the need to begin again.
6.     Making mayonnaise is a slow process but this is how chefs did it in the old days, we did not call up the purveyor or the grocery store and have them send a bunch of it over to us.  Take your time, emulsify the mixture correctly and the air is going to fluff it up automatically.  The key is to watch it at all times, it takes time but the product is both delicious and unique.  It allows the salad chef to be in charge of making his or her own basic ingredient, which means it is going to have a wonderful flavor all its own. 
7.     When you have the mayonnaise and are satisfied with the results, if you wish to alter it with additional ingredients you may do so and if not, there’s no need to do so.  Transfer it into a sanitized airtight container and label, date, and refrigerate it at or below 45°F at all times.  As you have made this item and it is NOT store bought, its shelf life is about 5-7 days but do your best to use it well within that period for best results.
8.     NOTE: Regarding health, sanitation, and the health code, the lemon juice is what purifies the egg yolks and keeps salmonella at bay.  It is important ALWAYS to select the BEST eggs without cracks or openings of any kind, using nothing but the freshest LOCAL eggs, not ones transported from 100 miles away or farther.  Always rinse your eggs underneath cold running water as salmonella exists on the OUTSIDE of the shell and only enters the egg when you crack it or it’s cracked through mishandling.  Use common sense and you will be okay, this is how we did it in the old days and people were not dying from food poisoning as much as they do now.

This is the classic mayonnaise dressing at its best, made from scratch, homemade just like making one’s own ice cream so keep the recipe handy: you might use it once every ten years but there are occasions in life when something happens and one needs mayonnaise right away.   

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FRANK ZAPPA MEETS THE MOTHERS OF PREVENTION

 

 

DOES HUMOR BELONG IN MUSIC?

As always, we have a great time around here and that is why we want all of you to become a part of the organization by submitting articles to us for inspection and full-credit.  It is a great thing if you would do this, as it is a symbiotic relationship: we give you the space to share your recipes and in return, you send us more and more people who will become dedicated followers of the END.  Currently of multi-diversity across the Internet, it is important that we hear the voices of more and more people from all walks of the foodservice profession —join us. We urge our readership to write to us, leave comments, and if there are any of you, who would care to write an article for us, please get in touch via Magnolia Hilltop Brewers, P.O. Box 20669, Bakersfield, CA 93390-0669.  We obviously do not pay anything but give YOU full byline and that, my friends, is worth its weight in gold.  We want as many people who want to write to be able to do so and we believe that by presenting a forum for our fellow chefs, we are doing something for our beloved industry.  We love diversity and hope to add new and different authors to our pantheon of chefs, food and beverage directors, and culinary professionals.  Come on and join us, it will be fun! Expect that when all of us have run through our cycle, we will be introducing some brand-new talent or so Stinky says.

 
THE OLD MASTERS BOX II

          We have touted the AARC Technology Company here in Bakersfield, CA, and must add the Nerds on Call.com folks.  Without them keeping our blog up-and-running, there is no telling where we would be now.  We have a great many problematic issues here at the AICP-END because even with the best security systems in the world, malware and other terrible fecal materials manage to penetrate the blogsite.  Do yourself a favor, hire the best, and note, you can have online help via a remote button on your desktop for just $25 per month!  Get in contact with the Nerds now!

JAZZ FROM HELL

          We are selling recipes all the time and you can order things you would like copies of simply by mailing us your name, address, the recipe you would like and a check for $1.00.  You can buy an entire week’s worth of recipes when we do a series simply by sending us a check or money order (no cash please!) for $20 and we will have it out to you in the next day’s mail.  Please become a part of the AICP-END by sending us your names, addresses, and information and we will welcome all of you with open arms!

 

LONDON SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA, VOLUME II

          To buy paintings, recipes, or full article series, please send us your information by mailing us at P.O. Box #20669, Bakersfield, CA, 93309-0669.  You can call about paintings at 661-834-5185; we will take all calls and provide to you as much information as is available.  It is time that we begin taking the next step and to immortalize Beverly Carrick for eternity and begin moving towards the establishment of a website of our own! God bless each single one of you amongst our fan base!

 

GUITAR

          Tell me, friends, where else do you come to learn about mayonnaise and get a lesson on the United States Constitution, you’d think I was f---ing Mark Levin, the leading light of the Conservative Cause in the nation.  The problem is, with what the educational system is cranking out, practically NO one even knows what the damned thing is, it happens to be the GREATEST document in the history of the world because it has made us a great nation, not one that needs fundamental changing!  Regrettably, I must say that it seems not to take very much to overturn the institutions of this wonderful country as the way things have been going the past few years; we seem to be on a darkened path that continues getting darker.  I never thought that I would see the things I saw a year or so ago when all of these so-called ninety-nine-percenters, you know, the “Occupy Movement,” set up their Obamavilles, shantytowns in the parks of major cities and went on a rampage.  Idiots like Mayor Michael Bloomberg of New York said, “Ah, they’re just kids, let ‘em do their thing,” I doubt Rudy Giuliani would ever have allowed such crap to defile the streets of his city?   Oh, well, I urge you to pick up a copy of the Constitution or even a bunch and begin handing them out to your employees because when you have to drop their healthcare coverage and they come running to you crying like sheep, tell them “WHY” it’s happening!  For Christ’s Sake, I have done my best to prepare my folks for the oncoming nightmare and if I have to, their insurance—and mine with it—is going right out the backdoor.  Maybe I can find a health insurance company down in Mexico, you know, that might work…  

 

YOU CAN’T DO THAT ON STAGE ANYMORE, VOLUME I

Anyhow, let us close with this impassioned plea—please leave some comments and/or become a follower and why not spend some money and purchase an album by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention and/or buy a cookbook from Amazon.com—we want to make some money here so help us out by buying something!  Allied with them, we are pleased to market their merchandise!  Amazon.com is one of the greatest—if not the ultimate greatest!—online department stores in which, one can find almost everything on the planet.  We love them and they love us and we want all of you to visit them daily, take advantage of their deals on everything from kitchen equipment to cookbooks, CDs, DVDs, and everything else a person could want.  Everything you buy from them puts money into our pockets, which allows us to keep this fine blog up-and-running 24/7/365!  God bless America and God bless Amazon.com!

Thank you!

“JT”

James “JT” Tobiason

Professional Baker, American Baker’s Association, Certified Working Chef, ACF, CWC
This is me back in the 1980's when I was an Executive Sous Chef at a hotel Monterey, California. I originally came from Salinas, CA, spent time in Fresno and Bakersfield, and currently am working at a fine-dining restaurant in Visalia, CA. I began cooking in 1967 when I apprenticed under a top chef working in the Napa Valley.

Chef James “JT” Tobiason writes from Visalia, California.

Chef James “JT” Tobiason is a member of the CONSTITUTION PARTY OF THE UNITED STATES.

 
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The AICP-END Commentary for Thursday, March 07, 2013 by Chef James “JT” Tobiason

 

 

Please note that everyone who writes for the Elemental News of the Day is their own person entitled to their own opinions, attitudes, and insanity so does not necessarily speak for all of us.  Thanks, Stinkbug.

REFERENCES:

The one-and-only Chef James “JT” Tobiason wrote this original essay.

 

Recipe created by Chef James “JT” Tobiason on April 29, 1974 in Fresno, CA.

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This is #0139, a 20” x 24" original oil painting by Beverly Carrick entitled, “City Lights, Desert Nights." It is among her more beautiful works and is available for sale. You can see much more of her work at her Website, located at http://www.beverlycarrick.com or at Brian Carrick's Facebook page. At her Website, you will see not only more original oil paintings but also lithographs, giclees, prints, miniatures, photographs, and even her award-winning instructional video entitled, "Painting the Southwest with Beverly Carrick." Beverly has been painting for more than 60 years and known around the world for both the beauty and timelessness of her artworks. Hanging in private and public galleries and followed by many fans encircling the globe—her works instill awe because of her artistic brilliance and personal beauty. We urge you to go to her Website NOW and view her work. It is possible that you will find something you like and will want to buy it for yourself, a friend, a loved one, or a neighbor! You will not be disappointed so please: do yourself a favor and go there IMMEDIATELY! Thank you, the Elemental News of the Day!

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Pictures #0000-0395

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Tags:

JT, James “JT” Tobiason, the Mothers of Invention, Frank Zappa, Condiments, Tasty Foods, Mis-en-Place, Mayonnaise, Tartar Sauces; Basic Sauces 101; MOTHER SAUCES; Mis-en-Place 101; Sauces;

 

 

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THANK YOU MARY LOU GUNN FOR TERMINATING RALPH BAILEY, JR. AND FOR GIVING US MARK LEVIN AT HIS PROPER TIME, 3:00 P.M. MONDAY-FRIDAY!

 
 

 
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CHEF JAMES “JT” TOBIASON
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Thank you for joining me today at the New Elemental News of the Day, I appreciate your company and hope that you bring your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, and relatives the next time you visit!

 

 

 

 

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The Chef’s Culinary Nightmare: Our Muse…

 

 

 

  

 
Beverly Carrick Original Paintings Price List:

 

  1. Size 36” x 72”…………………………………………………………. $18,000.00.
  2. Size 40” x 60”…………………………………………………………. $15,450.00.
  3. Size 36” x 48”…………………………………………………………. $11,500.00.
  4. Size 30” x 40”…………………………………………………………. $ 9,900.00.
  5. Size 24” x 48”…………………………………………………………. $ 9,000.00.
  6. Size 24” x 36”…………………………………………………………. $ 8,240.00.
  7. Size 24” x 30”…………………………………………………………$ 7,600.00.
  8. Size 20” x 24”…………………………………………………………$ 5,950.00.
  9. Size 18” x 24”…………………………………………………………$ 5,950.00.
  10. Size 16” x 20”…………………………………………………………$ 5,400.00.
  11. Size 12” x 24” …....................................................................................$ 5,400.00.
  12. Size 12” x 16”….....................................................................................$ 4,500.00.
  13. Size 11” x 14”…………………………………………………………$ 4,500.00.
  14. Size 9” x 12” …………………………………………………………. $ 1,200.00.
  15. Size 8” x 10” …………………………………………………………. $ 1,000.00.



GUN SALESMAN OF THE YEAR: PRESIDENT BARACK H. OBAMA!

TODAY IN HISTORY—MARCH 07, 2013:

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